What happened – THE FALL:
I have a memory of falling. I had survived my teens, and was well on my way to becoming an adult contributing member of society. One day, while happily bouncing down a busy street, I suddenly fell. It came as such a shock, that it took me a good while to even realise that I was lying face up on the ground. Rather than the solid ground beneath my feet, my eyes were fixed on endless blue sky. That is until the kind visage of an older man filled that empty space between my eyes and the sky;
“What happened?” “Did you fall? Are you ok?”
As he helped me sit up and I tried to reorient myself to my lower surroundings, I became aware of the curious and concerned eyes of drivers and occupants of cars passing slowly by; of surprised pedestrians, and of the hucksters at the side of the road, all paused in the plying of their trade to verify whether I was ok. So much love, so much compassion and concern surrounded me on that busy street that day, and yet, once I’d dusted myself off, said my ‘thank yous’ and had continued on my way, all I could feel was intense embarrassment, and that I had somehow failed.
What had actually happened? Why had I fallen? Who or what had caused me to fall? How was it even possible for a healthy and extremely athletic person such as myself to fall? Was that sharp crack in the sidewalk to blame? What would be the point of blame? Ultimately, the question simply became: How do I forgive myself for falling; for falling short of my expectations; for losing a moment of dignity when prior to that everything had been going ok? It took me years to realise that the only person who had judged me and found me wanting that day was me myself. It would also take me another pile of years to realise that in that singular moment was the most compassion I’d ever received and would probably ever again receive from human beings as an adult. For as adults we are expected to be able to navigate the school of life – off the cuff – and so often without love, once our formal education has ended.
One of the hard realities of adult life is to accept the fact that no one cares! Not because they don’t care about you personally, but because they care more about themselves. And rightly so. We should all care more about ourselves. For it is truly a luxury to sit and wait in this day and age for someone to help pick us up and dust us off once we’ve fallen. Why? Because everyone else around you has fallen, or is falling.
Imagine an earthquake where the ground is unstable, and the walls are crumbling around. You’d naturally expect to protect yourself to the best of your ability until the tremors subsided. Never would it would cross your mind to look for someone else to rescue you, or to reassure you in that critical moment of mass crisis.
As shocking and as unfair as the injustice or trauma you have experienced may have been to your system, YOU ARE ALIVE. The onus is on you to figure out what happened, to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, find a quiet place to lick your wounds, FORGIVE YOURSELF and HEAL;
FORGIVENESS IMPERATIVES
- Be thankful that you are alive and can RECOVER;
- Become YOUR BFF (your best friend FOREVER) that comforts and champions yourself.
- Yes, yesterday was a terrible day, but know that today will be better than yesterday.
- KNOW that you are now writing the first pages of a new and more awesome book ON your life.
- Set the INTENT that you can get up and walk again with sprite steps, a bright smile on your face, and the sun shining in your eyes; find the lesson; convert it into your strength; that is your secret.
Why do we need to forgive?
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